Tuesday, April 7, 2009

De Ja Vu?

First of all, I'm not even sure I spelled the damn word right, but I AM having a major case of de ja vu!! I got an email from one of the places that I interviewed for a job and guess what?? I didn't get it. WOW!! What a surprise. I swear, when I go on an interview, I must have,"Don't hire me.", stamped across my forhead in bright neon lights only the person interviewing me can see! In the email, she says," Thank you for taking the time to visit with us. Unfortunately, we have hired someone for the position that you applied for." And let me guess, it wasn't me? Man, what do I have to do to get a damn job?? I beginning to understand why people go insane and do crazy things after losing a job. I was NOT made to stay at home alone. That does not work for me. When I'm home alone it gives me time to think and that can be a VERY dangerous thing for me. Many times CJ will come home and find me curled in a ball under my covers moaning. He'll say," What the hell are you doing?", and I'll answer,"I've been thinking again......." Then he'll say," Oh god, not again!! Enough with the thinking!!" Need I say more? Like I said, thinking is BAAAAD!!!

Another thing that really gets me about being at home alone so much is lack of human interaction and when that happens, I start conversing with the dog, the t.v., my stuffed teddy bear, anything. Including myself. Yes, I talk to myself. They say that's ok as long as you don't answer yourself.  Well, if I don't answer me, then who will? And what will happen if I answer myself? I haven't suddenly exploded or anything. Who knows. I swear there are times when I am just gabbing away at the poor dog and he looks at me with this expression that says," Puh-leeez, puh-leez, just stop talking. Go talk to the bear. I really don't care. I just want to sleep. GO AWAY!!" I mean, if he could talk, I think that is probably what he would say. Of course, if I were a dog and had some crazy human lady yapping at me, I would say the same thing!!  I just thank God that he can't talk, because some of the secrets he knows, MAN!! Yeah right, like I have any really juicy secrets. HAHA!! If I had juicy secrets, that would mean that I had a life, and if I had a life I wouldn't be talking to the damn dog!! And around and around we go!! 

Well, thank you once again for subjecting yourself to my boring life. Maybe one of these days I'll actually have something of significance to report!! Won't that be fun? But I wouldn't hold my breath on that one. So, take care and have a wonderfully exciting, fun-filled day!!

1 Comment:

  1. Lou said...
    Hi, Jenn, just realized you were following me. I read your story, and huge kudo's for keeping it together with your life. Some people get the mistaken impression I'm for 12 steps only...I have lived my son's heroin addiction for 10 years, and I know first hand there is no one way for everyone. The 12 steps I write about are AlAnon. That has worked for me, I can't say enough good about it for the loved ones of the addict/alcoholic. It kept me sane at the time I felt my head would explode. Frankly, I don't know why people have to be so defensive about it one way or another.
    You are on MMT, check out this blog
    http://armme.wordpress.com. They post all things methadone.
    Good luck!

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